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Mindset Magic

Henry Ford famously said If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right. As we go through life, we all try to understand where we fit within our tribe, our herd, our pack, our crowd, our club, our team our organization, our company.  We have an insatiable thirst to understand and establish our status, our exclusivity, where we belong. As human beings, we are as motivated by status and exclusivity as any pack animal. We all want to do our best and be successful and yet so many of us fail to achieve our targets. Why is it that some people are more successful than others? Why do some people succeed where others crash and burn? Why do some people thrive with risk when others become paralyzed? Why do some people hesitate when others strike?  Why is that some people are filled with apprehensions while others are so certain? Paulo Coelho Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed. When I work with elite performers, success is the ultimate goal.…

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‘Me Thinking’—drop the loo roll and control yourself.

When someone says, "You are being selfish," The message is very clear: You are paying too much attention to your own wants, needs, and well-being, and not enough attention to others. The challenge we face is that during times of uncertainty, the part of the brain that copes with anxiety disrupts a different part of the brain that controls behaviour. The result can be increased fear and group-thinking behaviour, which increases our fight or flight response, our basic, animal instinct. The outcome then is increased ‘me thinking’. Right now, we as a nation and as global citizens need to come together to fight what can only be called an existential threat to humanity. Never have the famous JFK words being more appropriate "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country," The panic buying, the stockpiling, is indicative of some people making no considerations of anyone else’s needs, but their own. We can reduce the urge for fight or flight, by being more self aware of our ‘thinking experience', We have to avoid panicking by understanding, and accepting the anxiety caused by the corona-virus threat, making sure that the information we are receiving…

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Denying or shutting out thoughts of the Coronavirus will not help.

Morning Thoughts: Emotional intelligence is the ability to make emotions work for you instead of against you, and where you think about your feelings and the feelings of others, especially at this very stressful time. You start by washing your hands and following all the advice from professionals. You realise the importance of behaviour towards others and you make every effort to help and support those who need it. You stop yourself being influenced by others' selfishness in stock piling. You play your part by recognising the power of a few small words to brighten someone's day. You praise sincerely and specifically by consistently looking for the good in others - especially health workers. You control your thoughts. Instead of dwelling on feelings that are self-destructive, you focus on productive thoughts, and work on moving forward helping us all deal with this crisis.

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Self Image is a False Identity, but we don’t notice it as a lie.

 Its’s not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life, it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the most power! – Robert Kiyosaki Your self-image is what you think about yourself and what you tell yourself about what and who you are. It’s also severely affected by what you think other people think of you – your weight, attractiveness, intelligence and it can impact so many things. Once you’ve decided on your personal self-image, it can be hard to change it. The challenge is you form a rigid picture or "schema" about yourself. This is driven in part by our internal critic. We all have an inner critic. It’s the little voice inside of your head urging you to get things done, or pressuring you to do things to gain the acceptance of others, or simply telling you that you’re not good enough. Your inner critic is notorious for whispering destructive sentiments into your psyche. It’s so vital that, when you look in the mirror, you value the person staring back at you. Start by stop comparing your self to others. Use self compassionate talk, which involves treating yourself with kindness when you make a mistake,…

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There is no real performance without a little fanaticism from the performer?

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life,” which is often attributed to Confucius. Tonight, I speak to a large number of people on performance and passion. I always think there is no real performance without a little fanaticism from the performer. To me performance without passion is like walking through a desert without water. All effort; no subsistence. A life of passion is a good life, or so we are told. It’s what parents, teachers, managers, coaches champion. But maybe it’s not that simple. I often seek to find the difference between harmonious and obsessive passion, and tell my coachees that understanding the difference is key not only to cultivating long-term health, happiness, and performance. I think we can all agree that a love for one’s job, that passion, that fire, that drives you on, is difficult to fake and helpful to getting up and out to work. However obsessive passion can be damaging and I have seen many leaders overwhelm people with it, or burn out. I am obsessive about what I do. I am not good at taking my own advice. I just love work, and sometimes those around me suffer because…

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My natural behaviour is to take risks

Failure is not a step backward, it’s an excellent stepping stone to success. We never learn to move out of our comfort zone if we don’t overcome our fear of failure. Failing is an inevitable part of creating our destiny, and has allowed me to follow my biggest dreams. It can be scary as some people delight in our failure, and wish us harm. I see them on the street. I meet them in the bars. Yet I know I will rise again, and they will be forever consumed by their shallow lives. Because I know; #1 – Failure is life’s greatest teacher “The quickest road to success is to possess an attitude toward failure of ‘no fear’” – Ralph Heath, author of Celebrating Failure: #2 – Failure allows you to grow “One of the biggest secrets to success is operating inside your strength zone but outside of your comfort zone,” – Ralph Heath #3 – Failure creates a new You; But how we respond to our failures is what determines our road to success. If you feel an emotional low after you have failed, read or listen to stories of people like Oprah Winfrey or J.K. Rowling and their…

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Sometimes I drive myself crazy.

I drove out into nothingness today. My problem was that my brain came with me. I sometimes find myself in an endless cycle of rumination. Thoughts have energy and that energy has to flow somewhere. Fighting to keep it out of my head, achieves little. In “The Mindful Way through Depression,” authors Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, and Jon Kabat-Zinn write, “Sorting things out, and forcing a solution will always seem like the most compelling thing to do … but in fact focusing on these issues in this way is using exactly the wrong tools for the job.” I suggest to many clients that they should step back and switch off. Now there’s almost no mental practice that has more research behind it than meditation: Studies from Harvard, Yale, Princeton, UCLA, Stanford, and UMass, to name a few, are showing the effects of meditation training on brain function and brain structure. Meditation startling benefits is its ability to deactivate the “me centres” of the brain, the areas that are most active, when we’re having self-thoughts related to the self. My advice always is, if you cannot afford 10 minutes for daily Meditation, then take an hour as you obviously…

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Whoever is trying to pull you down is always below you.

Whoever is trying to pull you down is always below you. I work with a lot of super stars who attract celebrity status.. I know nothing about Caroline Flack or the tragic circumstances of her life. From the bare facts I have read like you I am incredibly saddened. In very sad situations like Caroline Flack Mike Thalassitis, and Amy Winehouse, and even Meghan Markle, many people are asking whose fault this is and where to direct their shock and anger. I work with people who suffer from daily abuse on social media, and are hated by some, because of the team they play for, the politics they preach, the country they represent, or mistakes they have made. In any situation where your Mental Health is at risk, ask for help from an expert and do not rely on self help solutions. In general life there are those who I call physic vampires and other toxic people who slowly suck the life out of others, although they don't always do so consciously or with any ill intent. Subsequently, staying happy and reaching your goals often means putting an end to the subtle ways they shut you down. I often advise…

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Prayer is talking to the Universe. Meditation is listening to it.

All of the individuals I work with must practice meditation as part of their regular coaching sessions. Why? I use it as a key cornerstone of my Mindset Programmes of Mental Reflection and Mental Redirection. Long before the advent of modern science and medicine, dedicated meditation has been used by many people as an effective technique to work on their mind, and also to provide relaxation, well-being and better health. Meditation when done properly can wipe away the day's stress, bringing with it inner peace. The players, stars and business people I work with, must complete a daily routine of activity that includes meditation. I have read where for example Olympic steeplechaser Colleen Quigley calls meditation her “secret weapon.” Deena Kastor the  American record holder, says it’s aided her performance throughout her legendary career and 2018 European marathon champion Koen Naert says he wouldn’t be where he is without it. So why are so many dedicated athletes so taken with meditation. Meditation has many benefits. To me meditation enhances empathy by regulating positive emotions and making us more affectionate and amicable as a person. Meditation undoubtably improves cognition where studies have shown it improves the brain’s problem-solving and decision-making strategies.…

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