"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the
old, but on building the new” - Socrates
If you are one of the millions of people who have made a 2018 resolution, please prepare to be disappointed.
This maybe a harsh message, but the myriad of statistics point towards one trend — that which starts in resolution in January, turns to regret very fast.
In fact I was thinking about setting up a Resolution Health Club for the month of January, where I would take advantage of all those commitments to your new body by getting you all to join the Resolution Health Club paying a year’s membership up front because this year it’s going to be different and you are really going to make the effort. Then when you all stop coming in February use the membership funds to set up a Regret Bar and take more of your money as you sit drink and talk of what might have been.
So much research shows that approximately one quarter of all 2018 New Year resolutions will fail after just one week and guess what over 90% of you will fail to fully complete the goal(s) set by year end. Be it losing weight, quitting smoking, learning something new, getting fit – they’re all doomed to failure.
So what’s going on here? Is it a lack of willpower? Or are you dealing with a fundamental flaw that can’t be changed?
I find in many change programmes people often set unrealistic or unnecessary goals, usually with no real plan, just a set of ambitions and the problem is we all have inbuilt immunities to change. So, why don’t we achieve the change we seek?
The challenge isn’t a lack of willpower. Rather, I argue, that the failure to meet our goals may be the result of an emotional immune system that helps protect us from the fallout that can come from trying to change – namely disappointment and shame.
A recent study showed that when doctors tell heart patients they will die if they don't change their habits, only one in seven will be able to follow through successfully. Desire and motivation just are not enough, even when it's literally a matter of life or death, our ability to change remains maddeningly elusive.
There is a simple process that I teach to overcome this, called Develop© yourself4change:
Phoenix Model© “Develop©” yourself4change
Dig deep within yourself to establish what you can/cannot change, and develop the wisdom to know the difference.
Evaluate why you want to change by acknowledging where you are today, and defining the future you seek.
Vanquish immunities to your change journey that create sustainable obstacles to the goals you aspire to.
Enable yourselves through understanding your potential to make the change, and gather the resources for that change.
Learn through trial and error what you need to unlearn, and develop new strengths by taking small steps to your goal.
Open yourself up to embrace the change as it happens, and reward yourself by visualising the end result.
Practice living daringly, boldly, fearlessly to create the momentum for the footprints you wish to create in a life less ordinary.
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