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The stories we tell ourselves…

I was walking through sand dunes at a place called Bamburgh Castle and happened to come across a couple of strangers, at the exact time when he was proposing to her. Beautiful romantic moment in life - and she did say yes. I felt privileged and honoured to be present and managed capture the moment on camera. I was struck by the commitments we make in life to ourselves and to others, and the changes it brings to our lives and futures. I could not help but consider why we find change so hard when, everyday, people change so much by simply in growing up/older, leaving home, going to university, getting a job, changing a job, getting married, having children, getting divorced, retiring etc. Yet the idea of change, or the want to change always feels difficult. Have you ever tried to change something significant about yourself, whether a personality trait, a bad habit or another aspect of your life? Did it work? Have you ever tried to get someone else to change? What happened?   So often we sit around, thinking about how unhappy we are about one thing or another. Here’s a secret: the only person capable of…

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What drives our choices?

Much of our lives is spent in reaction to others and to events around us. The problem is that these reactions might not always be the best course of action and as a result, they can make others unhappy, make things worse for us or make the situation worse in general. These reactions shape our futures and our lives. We are victims of emotions, expectations, contexts or social norms. Recently I have been the victim of some people’s emotional reactions, one where my dog was overly friendly and a second time when I asked someone to respect social distancing. The individuals  allowed a cloud of anger to overwhelm them and they lost control. I am often asked if we are pawns to our emotions and our biases. Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear? Lao Tzu

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